Marcell Rocks (but has a custard arm)17th November 2008
Cal and Gidge recently went back to Darren and Marcel’s place after last drinks were called at the Club. Being a mild night, they decided to sit outside and drink whatever came out of the cupboard – and lots came out of the cupboard that night, or early morning.
All assured us that they were just having a few drinks and talking quietly. Of course, we didn’t believe the “quiet” bit at first – drunks always reckon they are quite even when the noise level rises to that of a jet engine at full thrust. However, Darren, being the only one not consuming alcohol confirmed that they were as quiet as little mice.
Marcel reckons she makes a mean home made pizza – and the boys agreed.
She also cooked up a storm of popcorn. It was like one of those old silent movies with popcorn gushing out of the back door and into the yard.
We don’t know if it was the quietly talking mice or the volcano of popcorn that woke their neighbour at 2.30 am, but whatever it was, he was none too pleased.
“What the f***k are you people doing out here, a bloke is trying to get some f******g sleep and all I can hear is you c***ts”, he said mildly while looking over the fence. “I’ll call the f*****g cops if you don’t quieten down”, he said with a friendly smile.
Wrong!!! Never threaten Marcel.
“Why don’t you pull your f*****g head in and mind your own f*****g business” replied Marcel using her best manners.
After a further exchange of pleasantries over the fence, said neighbour climbed down from the fence turned to go inside at which point Marcel, in a reconciliatory manner said, “Goodnight Princess”.
Not long after Cal and Gidge left to wend their way home.
However, Marcel was not finished with the neighbour from hell.
“I’ll fix his little red wagon” she vowed quietly as she strolled nonchalantly into the backyard. She proceeded to pick up about a dozen decorative river stones that happened to catch her eye and thought that she would lob one onto the metal roof of the neighbour’s house just to wish him goodnight.
With an almighty heave, Marcel launched the first stone over the fence and waited for the deafening crash of stone on metal.
Plop. The stone fell harmlessly on the neighbours’ back lawn.
Not to be discouraged, she got closer to the fence and tried again.
The second stone hit the fence and bounced back quicker than it went and nearly took Marcel’s eye out.
Unperturbed, she climbed up on to the spa to gain some extra height to launch the next missile.
Plop. And so on until her arsenal of stones was exhausted.
Talk about a custard arm
The next morning the neighbour again poked his friendly face over the fence and asked politely “Hey, did you throw these f*****g stones onto my back lawn”?
“No” replied Marcel equally politely, “There are no f******g stones like that in our yard – have a look for yourself you stupid idiot if you don’t believe me.”
Of course there weren’t any in your back yard Marcel. You had thrown them all over into his place!
Keep and eye out for an upcoming club function in the back yard at Darren & Marcel’s soon.